The Kids Are Gone, The Chaos Has Vanished.....Now What?

You can navigate through the maze of "empty nest syndrome" and recreate yourself. This time can be the best part of your life.

You have been a wife and mother for so long and now it is your turn to enjoy the next half of life. As mothers, of course we enjoyed bringing up our children. This is different. We are not the same women who married and had children. We have gone through so much in twenty or so years and have changed and adapted many times.

The question many of us empty nesters ask is: "What am I to do now?" Many even feel that they have lost their purpose in life. This syndrome is real, painful, and I share your pain. Fortunately, the transition for any woman going through this syndrome can be made smoother. The difference between those who discover themselves all over again, and those who are frozen, sitting on the fence is amazing. Nothing can compare to a fresh outlook on life, while enjoying the fruits of your labor (pun intended) after bringing up your family.

I know what I am talking about, because I have made this transition.  I am Coach Evelyn, and here’s my story:

Before I was an empty nester, I was a stay-at-home mom. I decided, with my husband, to put my social work career on hold until my children started school. We never regretted this decision. I fully believe that this played a huge piece of our success as a family.

Of course, I would have made it work, even if I was working, but this took a lot of pressure off. We went to the parks, and my children always had friends running around over the week end. Everyone knew that our house was the place to be (having lots of yummy cookies and cakes that were homemade didn't hurt, either).

I recall at one point we had my daughter's friends upstairs, my son's in the den, and my youngest son's friends in the basement. What a lot of noise, and fun! I remember in the summer relaxing on the deck with my husband and friends watching the guys play basketball, (we have a hard top, with 2 hoops), and the girls playing tetherball. I always had drinks and cookies out. I know it sounds like June Cleaver. To be honest, I would sometimes rather the kids met at someone else's home. But at least I knew who my children's friends were, and really did enjoy getting to know them.
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We had dinner together every night, which was homemade. (This is sounding really nerdy…) Carpooling was constant, as were skating lessons, hockey lessons, tee-ball.....

And then I remember the first summer they were all in camp and it was just my husband and me.  I found myself calling the kids down to dinner, and hearing absolutely nothing. My husband gave me a funny stare, and we sat down to leftovers. Ah, I could breathe again, and not worry about getting a sitter.

I knew my children would be home in a month, but I really missed them. The house was quiet, and I spent a lot of time reading, and working in the office with my husband. Even though, I kept pretty busy, I still missed the kids. It wasn't quite so painful yet, as I knew they would be home, and the mess and chaos would start again.

If I knew then what I know now, I would have not been so neurotic on having the house cleaned up from the toys and clutter. Yes, kids need organization and consistency, but at times I drove them nuts!

Then the real test came. Off they went for college, and got married. My yard was empty. Now, it really was just my husband and I. We had to learn how to step back and let the kids run their own lives.

My youngest starting college was really tough to handle, but I did it! Somewhere at this point, I found my own calling. I began a coach training program with International Coach Academy and the rest is history.

Through standing back and allowing my children space, I realized that they may need me even more now. If only to share their excitement that my grandchild turned over or began crawling and walking. Even though they are two hours away, babysitting is frequent.  Communicating through the computer on Skype works as well. You get the picture.

I learned that by stepping back and finding my own love of life, I was able to rediscover the potential that had been hiding all these years. I could take my natural ability to listen, and care to a whole new level. The art of coaching!

Because of my journey, I know the obstacles that come up when children move out on their own.  Because of my coach training, I know how to help overcome these obstacles and make the transition smoother.

I am committed to working with people just like you, to help you re-create yourself and your life. If you want to find out how I can help you, send me an email at evelyn@emptynesterlifecoaching.com. Or call me at (860)922-9980 and we can have a chat.

Please call for a 30 minute complimentary coaching consultation with no obligation to see if coaching is right for you.

Achieve your vision-Soar to great heights!